Stone Gentlemen, cut the procedures, be seated. I am at a complete loss on how to advise Special Operations Command regarding stopping a shadow. Sham, this is your wheelhouse. I want answers.

Sham I’m afraid I’ll have to disappoint you, Commander. Surveillance tapes don’t appear to show any evidence the creature was even there.

Stone Then what exactly do you think tore one of my men’s arms off?

Sham My apologies. I don’t mean to imply it wasn’t there! What I mean is that I can’t gather any evidence that seems useful other than witnesses’ accounts, which you already have.

Stone Am I to understand there’s nothing you can do, Agent Sham?

Sham Well, I suppose not. No.

Stone Then it seems necessary to enlist support from additional intelligence agencies. Dismissed.

Note: While Cmd. Stone exited the ready room, the five remaining attendees stayed. Recording continued.

Sham I resent that!

Quillroy What?

Sham Commander Stone insinuating that I’m somehow incapable, and that other agencies are going to fare better!

El Ray That’s not what he said, Sham.

Daart Yeah, he probably just thinks you’re too scientific to deal with a real-life ghost!

Sham Ridiculous! I have been around long enough to see the intelligence community deal with all manner of extraordinary phenomena, from aliens and to cryptids to experimental weapons and even technology that could possibly warp our very understanding of reality! Never once have I seen a ghost!

Daart I know! That’s all I was sayin’, Sham. They probably need an exorcist or somethin’ instead.

Sham Bah!

Daart I’m serious! What else but an evil spirit could it be?

Albert VII I dunno. A demon? A deity? A galactic fairy? A time-travelling car salesman? What? There’s just as much proof it’s a time-travelling car salesman as there is of that other stuff.

Sham Precisely. We have to limit our analysis to natural phenomena. If we look at a motive, the only conclusion we can draw is one of our many enemies is spying on us.

Albert VII Spying? You really think our enemies wanted to see Daart watch low-budget TV shows?

Quillroy What do you think El Ray? Was it a ghost or a high-tech spy?

El Ray: For once, I agree with. . . Albert VII.

Daart Uh. . . I did not see that coming.

Albert VII You’re telling me! I don’t even have a theory, el jefe.

El Ray We’re dealing with something none of us, including Sham, has ever seen before. That means it’s pointless to speculate, because there are practically infinite possibilities. We have to limit our focus to what we know and forget speculation and biases. That includes you, Sham.

Quillroy Where do we start then, sir?

El Ray: Description. What’d it look like? What’d it sound like?

Albert VII What’d it smell like? Ha!

El Ray Joking aside, if it gave off any odor, it could be useful. Daart, you saw it the most, what about it?

Daart Like I said: It was the darkest darkness I’ve ever seen.

Quillroy It was strong, too. Took all my speed and strength to pull Brewer away. If I didn’t spend as much time in the gym as I do, he would’ve been ecto dust, bruh.

El Ray How about motive? What was it doing?

Daart Nothing really. It just sort of looked at me. It also sort of created a tornado in the room.

El Ray So it was windy?

Daart Not at all. Things just sort of twirled around in the air. It was like that 80s movie, Pokergeist, where the casino was built on an Indian burial ground! Maybe SNI was built on sacred land!

Sham There you go, speculating again.

El Ray Let’s hear an alternate theory, Sham. What’s darker than darkness and moves objects without air?

Sham Well, let’s see . . . darkness suggests an absence of light, and motion requires energy. A black hole has gravity and traps light, but there’s no way it’s a black hole.

Quillroy Why not?

Sham Because the reason a black hole traps light is because its gravity is so massive. If this thing were a black hole, it would have swallowed the entire planet.

Albert VII Well it did eat a guy’s arm.

Daart Brewer drew on it, though. Maybe it attacked Brewer out of self-defense.

Quillroy The creature didn’t attack. It was in a passive stance. I mean, it’s hard to make out shadow people, but if I had to guess, I’d say that thing was facing away from Brewer. From where I stood, it was Brewer that went toward the creature.

El Ray That conflicts with the official briefing. You’re saying Brewer walked into it?

Quillroy: Exactly! Except . . . it wasn’t a “walk.” He went toward it, but his legs weren’t moving.

Sham I need to follow up with Brewer.

El Ray I’d like to accompany you, Sham.